| Too Many Nights |
[06 May 2006|12:15am] |
note to self:
i need a man to come home to..
like NOW!
i'm lonely.
where's my kiss goodnight?
happy cinco de mayo night.
corona's used to be so lovely.
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3 thoughts | think of me
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[02 May 2006|01:18pm] |
these wrinkles under my eyes are from rubbing away all these tears i've cried everyday for the past 8 years..
i'm officially a server at jack's waterfront.
i LOVE it there.
it's awesome.
after my shift bullshitting with paula and the girls is the best.
i can't wait to be 21.
i can't wait to make money.
i wish i was there right now.
in the midst of my mental breakdown,
i figured i'd share this least bit of positive in my life...
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1 thought | think of me
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| Decorated Emergency |
[25 Apr 2006|01:16am] |
job went well today.
i think i'm gonna like it there.
it seems laid back and un-ruley.
i'm winning at bettering myself,
but losing on love.
one day it'll come back.
classes are almost over.
looking forward to summer days.
that's all i really need to stop this madness of thinking.
p.s. hottubs outside are amazing.
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think of me
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| Yeah I'm Cool |
[21 Apr 2006|05:08pm] |
i got a job at jack's waterfront.
i'll be waitressing/cocktailing.
i start monday.
come visit me and get drunk.
:)~
the day i get to look into your eyes...
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4 thoughts | think of me
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| Happy Easter! |
[16 Apr 2006|04:19am] |
if i could hear your voice every night,
i'd be complete.
nice satisfying day.
sad that i couldn't go out with my girl.
certain things happen for a reason,
you're my intuition.
the sounds of birds chirping,
ensures that my night has ended worth it.
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think of me
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| I'd Walk To You If I Had No Other Way |
[13 Apr 2006|01:06pm] |
i lied i wasn't a somebody,
i was just another nobody.
kevin's surprise party tonight,
should be good times with my loves.
<3
my mom is disappointed in me,
i agree with her,
because i'm disappointed for all the same reasons.
it'll get better someday.
that is if i make it that way.
focus = me
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1 thought | think of me
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| There's Too Much Beauty To Quit. |
[13 Apr 2006|03:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
i've met somebody
who makes me feel like i am SOMEBODY...
and i've lost?
find me again,
and i'll succeed.
night was rough.
morning looks clearer.
this weekend will be brilliant.
my girls will be home,
and i'll feel at home.
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think of me
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| Oh It's What You Do To Me |
[10 Apr 2006|04:44pm] |
i forgot i even had a journal,
with myspace around,
what's the frickin' point.
but i'm still here,
and i'm still thinking.
way too much for one to handle,i believe.
i still have no job.
had one for awhile,
but i quit.
i wasn't being paid enough money.
what happened to my dreams of being someone?
i'd be lying as well if i said school was going swell,
but the truth is,
i'm never there to even know.
i have this interest right now...
the best feeling in a long time,
but i'm a scared to admit that.
i'll never be the one.
i'm gonna read,
and i'm gonna sleep.
the days are getting warmer.
it brings me closer,
and closer to happiness each day.
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2 thoughts | think of me
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| subject |
[08 Jan 2006|10:48pm] |
so my computer has been a fucking bitch and a half.
but i think in an hour i've become a computer genious.
i had six viruses,
all of which i destroyed.
go me.
school(dreadful school) starts next week.
the winter holidays was the best of times.
new year's i got drenched in champagne.
broke my camera and what not,
but life goes on.
i've been getting into my scrapbooking.
i'm so creative.
i haven't been doing much.
not having a job is catching up with me.
breaking into my piggy banks for quarters
to get cigarettes needs to stop soon.
i don't know where to go though?
i can only work thursday through sunday.
shit mother fucker.
my family is crashing down.
my brother has disowned all of us.
he's embarassed by all we say.
i swear i he had a bathroom in his room he'd never come out.
and on the other hand we've disowned my uncle,
since he filed shit under my mom's insurance,
since my brother hit his truck.
he took the check that he got of 1200,
and isn't getting his truck fixed.
who does that?
hmmm...maybe addicts.
i feel so bad for my mom.
she's done so much for him and she gets fucked?
she's hurt.
all i can think about right now is drinking some wine,
and not thinking about a fucking thing.
i've been getting in trouble with my mouth as well.
according to people i say fuck too much?
who the fuck doesn't?
happier notes:
going to see the spill canvas jan. 28th
i got 7 cds made for me last night. <3
kelly is home from her europe vacation.
saw my awaited hostel movie.
i'm exercising (it's my resolution)
i'm adored.
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2 thoughts | think of me
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[28 Dec 2005|11:55am] |
i hate backspace keys on the internet.
i just wrote a shit load about the year that has passed,
and it just got deleted.
fuck livejournal for the day.
sorry.
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1 thought | think of me
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| Too Long |
[13 Dec 2005|08:34pm] |
i am back from my long departure from my world.
my computer is official fixed.
f yeah.
i'm so happy.
you have no idea what it's been like.
imagine how a fat kid would feel without his food.
that's how i felt.
yuck it was bad.
i've missed my constant.
so i've been working at nino's.
making gift baskets.
talk about a slave shop.
haha.
it's tedious.
but only 8 more days of hell.
and a paycheck will roll my way.
this still isn't getting me out of work during school,
but oh well.
what are ya gonna do?
haven't been doing much besides playing video games.
i love paper mario.
and sleeping.
i still need to go christmas shopping.
i'm just not in the mood this year.
this whole holiday came way too quickly.
it's sad.
our tree is beautiful though.
and the simpsons xmas train wraps all the way around the fireplace mantle.
damn.
loves it.
well i want to go to a concert.
and to somewhere hot.
what's going on for new year's people???
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think of me
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| Think of Me |
[30 Nov 2005|01:31pm] |
lately life has been throwing me all over the place. it has it's ups and downs. i've been extremely happy in some parts, yet i'm so upset with myself. i still need a job. that's eating away at me. i just don't want to go out and look for it. this weather will never help. god do i hate the winter. send me to florida, or better yet hawaii. i'm spent. i said i had much to update, but i guess it doesn't seem as interesting now. everything i say never seems to excite as much as it does for me.
i'm getting older and my mind stays young. when will it catch up? i need to focus on something. i'm all over the place. when i figure out the most important thing then maybe i'll be set. i'm done with asking for help though. it's time for me. the best thing is to stop dwelling in the past. if i'm going to eventually grow up, i have to let it ALL go.
if i was to introduce myself what would i say? i sound so blah and unappealing. what is it about me? could you show me something i've not seen? could i? i need some sparks to fly soon. i'm losing interest in me. i'll smoke another cigarette and go back to sleep. talk about an unpleasant vicious cycle. here i go killing myself with boredom.
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think of me
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| Carry Me |
[17 Nov 2005|05:01pm] |
harry at midnight.
he's my booty call.
<3
got to love it.
i'm freezing.
fuck michigan and the snow.
and winter.
i want to cry.
when you stare at me i wonder what's going through your mind.
meet me at quarter to 7,
the sun will still shine then,
at this time of year...
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think of me
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| I Just Want To Drink Beer and Play Atari |
[09 Nov 2005|07:32pm] |
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before i start off with anything...
a big FUCK YOU to famous dave's. they can suck me. they'll miss me more than they now. why'd i stay so long?
so i've been spending time
doing not much of anything.
i'm at a turning point in my life.
i feel as if me leaving work,
was a big kick in the face telling me to move on.
move on with everything.
i'm being held back, and i'm to blame.
so what am i to do?
i haven't put my finger on it yet.
am i always confused or what?
i have to decide on what to do next semester for school.
i hate taking classes over and over again.
i'm so stuck on money.
i wish it grew on trees for serious.
my mom said she'd give me 20 a week if i went to school full time.
yeah that'd be nice...
if i didn't smoke drink or eat. haha.
who could live off of 20 a week.
will i ever have a single thing sorted out?
i'm saddened.
at least i have people there in my life to comfort me
and make me smile when needed.
i don't know what i would do without you.
<3
change is in the air.
in some areas i am more than excited.
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3 thoughts | think of me
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| 2 Years Has Been So Long |
[06 Nov 2005|03:38am] |
i met chuck the freak.
and 89X tattooed my boob.
i ended up going to canada on a last minute decision.
it was some good times.
but i'm broke as hell.
i watched an episode of star wars for the first time and i'm hooked.
of course the dork in me would love it.
aha.
i'm tired.
i hate skinny people.
i want to be hot.
miss you ryan with all my heart.
i think of you always.
<3
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3 thoughts | think of me
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| Gay |
[23 Oct 2005|03:15pm] |
this week i have decided...
phill is my new guy best friend.
i have no money.
i need a respectable boyfriend.
i'm lonely.
i'm way to lazy.
i love my new big t.v.
i'm going to adopt the two stray cats that live in my front yard.
chili is the best warmth.
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2 thoughts | think of me
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